Sharing Life With Light

Tags

alive, art, art therapy, connection, healing, health, hope, invitation, journey, life, Life WIth Light, light, meaning, mental health, moving, My Life, new blog, path, purpose, relationship, therapy, value

Hi friends and followers,

Lol, it feels like I’m saying something like “Greetings Earthlings.”  Sorry.

I really just want to discuss some new things that are happening with anyone who has kept up or been keeping an eye on my blog here.

If you’ve noticed (or not! and no worries if you haven’t!) I have not been posting a lot to this blog.  It is not because I am abandoning it or am in the dark.  It is more that I am moving on. The light has been with me, and I have been with the light…and we’re starting to have a relationship.  And as relationships go, they take a lot of time, commitment and energy.  It’s an exciting time, especially when a relationship is so fresh and new, so I don’t want to leave you out of it.

The light has taken off in me, and I am taking off with it.  My new blog (and one which I believe is more permanent) is here.  http://www.LifeWithLight.wordpress.com.  Here, I am exploring Life With Light through my Art Therapy Journey…It’s about life, art, and what it all means to me.  (And it means a lot!)

Please feel free to join me there and connect with me as I have also created a related Facebook page where I can share on a different level and, hopefully, maybe even get to know you.

I value my relationships and connections so know that I have tested out these new waters before bringing you into the tide.  The waters at Life With Light are moving, but a lot more stable and clear.

I am ever-growing through this journey of life and I have faith that I am going somewhere (without knowing where the Light is exactly leading me) with these tears of happiness and relief even among the pain and grief that I at times still sift through.  It is all part of the beautiful experience called “Alive.”

Thank you for sharing your life with me! Hope to see you at the new pad! 🙂

 

 

 

Mother Talk

Tags

life, loss, mom, motherhood, parenting, relationship

Today I texted my mom a few pictures of my baby girl.  I have not seen my mom since the day I had to call the police on her while she was at my house.

That was 4 months ago.

Our relationship has ended, but sometimes she texts me still.  Sometimes I make a short reply, mostly just to keep the texts from escalating.  And there is a piece of me that doesn’t want to completely finish off our relationship forever.  There is a piece of me that hangs on.  Tight.  But sometimes I can’t tell if it is like a tooth that is hanging by a thread and will inevitably one day be completely lost or more like a broken bone that will someday refuse.

A child never stops wanting their mother.  At least, that’s what I’m guessing so far.

Sometimes that desire is so deeply buried, but there seems to be something in a human child (even once grown) that always aches for the completeness of that bond.  When the bond isn’t there it disrupts everything.

I guess I probably don’t really even mean a biological mother.  I think I’m talking more about that mother figure.   But it’s pretty hard to find a figure who fits the bill who is not an actual mom (and I consider adoptive mothers to be an actual mom, since they really are)-Somebody actually invested at an oceanic/organic level.

But maybe at the same time all the actual mother stuff really isn’t all that I think it is.  I just don’t know.  Where I’m sitting it probably doesn’t really matter.  I’m avoiding the topic all-together by trying to figure it out.

As I type this now my mother is texting me more and more questions about my daughter.  “Does she have teeth yet?”  “Is she crawling?”  Various comments about how she looks.

I already start to feel too much weight of the connection.  The danger.  The heaviness.  The stress.

But now my daughter is waking up from her nap and I need to be there for her.

So maybe later I will tend to my mother…and maybe not.