I’m not sure what to call this yet…An experiment, a way of life, or maybe a bad idea?
I’m going to try to condense the title a little bit. The Listen and Respond Experiment is going to become The LRE. Three dedicated letters together always seem to spell success, or at least the completion of something. All those initials that people put after their name. Maybe after this experiment I’ll be LRE Certified.
I realize most people won’t even have a clue what I’m talking about right now. That’s ok. That tends to be a sort of rule in my life, and is not my biggest problem!
How did The LRE go today?
Well, I noticed I wanted to step on the scale about 50 trillion times. It really brought me to awareness of how often I terrorize myself with that device. I don’t even know why I feel such a hunger for it. Is it really necessary to weigh myself before and after every time I use the restroom?
first thing in the morning-clothed.
first thing in the morning-unclothed.
before I get in the shower
after I get out of the shower
after getting out of the shower with my towel on
first time I am fully dressed for the day-shoes off
first time I am fully dressed for the day-shoes on
before I leave the house to run errands
after I return from running errands
while I’m cleaning the bathroom (that a freebie, it’s so close right there! why not!? and my hands are already on it to wipe the dust off…)
when I go into the restroom to check if there’s toilet paper on the roll
in the middle of cooking dinner
when my husband gets home from work
before eating dinner
after eating dinner
before I put on my pajamas
before I actually put my pajamas on
after I put my pajamas on
before I put socks on with my pajamas
after I put socks on with my pajamas
….in the middle of the fucking night! (People have to pee, you know.)
What in the hell!?!?!?
Yes, it is that bad.
So, just this awareness alone is, in my opinion, enough to pay for the whole LRE.
Amazing. My only concern is that I might gain 5 pounds from not running back and forth to the scale all day long.
I know this is completely ridiculous. Part of the problem is that one of the scales is digital and one is a traditional old-school So, of course, I have to compare the two (so x’s 2 all the above.) But there is that rare utter satisfaction of seeing a smaller number or the red mark not quite meeting as high up as expected to go. Oh, and I didn’t mention that sometimes I step on the scale 5 times in a row to average all the readings out.
But I’m coming clean. And I’m letting it go. I would like to figure out how much time in a single day is spent on the scale. Even if it’s just 5 minutes I can accomplish a crazy amount of cool stuff in 5 minutes. That could be a whole other experiment in itself.
How many cool things can you find to do at home within a 5 minute time-span? I might have to do that experiment next. I’m a mom….5 minutes is a gigantic span of time!
So…Day 1. The Scale.
I have not stepped on the scale one single time today, but I had some close calls. I almost forgot several times.
But what did I notice as the day went on?
I noticed that it actually felt so good to not step on the scale. Especially since lately I have not been stepping on the scale as a congratulatory measure. I measure myself against what I weighed when I was pregnant and you wouldn’t believe the amount of head trash that I can generate. “What!? Only 6 pounds lighter than the day I gave birth??” The gift of pregnancy that never ends.
But here is the funny thing I noticed. I noticed I felt lighter today!
I didn’t expect it. I know I’m not skewing the data with my bias here. I did not expect to feel lighter or better. This morning I was troubled about not stepping on the scale, but as the day progressed, every time I headed toward it and was able to look at it and say, “No. Not today.” I realized I didn’t really need the scale. If I really need to beat myself up about something completely irrelevant to what actually matters then I know I can always pull through for myself on that. I do not need to rely on heartless scale to berate me for a .03 weighted move.
You’re not going to believe this. (I don’t, but it’s true.) I looked in the mirror today and smiled at that person. I wasn’t sure who the heck she was, but that didn’t seem to matter. I said, “Hi! (smile) You are beautiful.” But then it took on a life of its own and you’re really not going to believe this! The reflection talked back to me and said, “Hi! You’re a magnificent being! (smile).”
YOU ARE A MAGNIFICENT BEING! ???
And then, –I- thought, “You are even a little bit cute!”
That is some good Listening and Responding if I dare so say myself!
So…more happened today, but I’m still processing that data and I want to compile it with tomorrow’s results. I’m going to leave my report on this for now. There was a lot more happening than just conversations with the scale and dialogue with the mirror, promise.
But it’s only Day 1 and The LRE is still under development.