(I thought this would be the place where I would come to say the most, but it hasn’t turned out that way. I guess it fits with the rest of my life because so much that I thought at the beginning would be one certain way has usually ended up to be something entirely different. This blog is no different
But I like to think that I am different.
I say “…I like to think…” because don’t people usually think the most about what they like to think? I’m not sure. That all becomes very confusing to me because there’s always so many different things going on in my life and head. I’m sure I’m not entirely different from the majority. But sometimes, for me, the thoughts go on to live their own separate lives. Enter: Separation.
I keep hoping that something I do will bring my life…ONE life….all together. I think a lot about authenticity and vulnerability. I found this great person, a doctor named Brene Brown who has studied these very things (along with Shame) for many years. I mean, I didn’t actually find her. In fact, I’ve never actually even seen her in person (thought that would be super cool!) I found her blog online (at www.ordinarycourage.com ) And now I don’t even remember how! Crazy. But anyway, I found this cool lady. (One of my favorite pastimes is finding cool ladies.) Women. Strong Women. I look for them everywhere. But as I was saying, I found Brene Brown. I highly recommend her take on life and think you should look her up and find her too.
So I still haven’t found the focus of this blog (or apparently this post either, sorry) (And sorry for all the parens…how annoying!) (SORRRY!) This is what it’s like to be me. I live in the parens. I’m kind of out of focus in my own life. But have you ever noticed how the stuff in parens is the stuff you actually want to say? It’s like the real words. It’s like the stuff that isn’t in the parens is almost just bullshit sometimes!
I don’t know where i’m going with this. Maybe I should just use this blog to brainstorm. Maybe that would be interesting. Maybe that would hold an audience?
I just don’t know! I have a million thoughts going on today! (And if you included the “paren thoughts” it would be at least two million, combined.)
Where was I?
Oh yeah, I was coming here to try to get all those great thoughts out I just had while I was in the bath while my baby girl is taking a nap, and now I’m trying to hurry up before she wakes up!
I’m always ending my posts on the note that I have to go because my baby is waking up from her nap.
Tada! Guess what! That thought must have been just a tad TOO loud because now she’s up! Not kidding. Totally awake!
Well, I probably didn’t accomplish here what I set out to do, but that’s never kept me from trying again!)